i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
vagina is talking i cant
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
