honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
