Slut skills are useful in every country.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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