just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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