It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
