Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
