Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
