man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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