That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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