ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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