ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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