So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
