Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if only i could text you this smell
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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