He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
