needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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