oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
