you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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