but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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