Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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