he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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