he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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