Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
