It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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