3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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