I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
