i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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