apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
two words...techno handjob
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
