So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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