Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
