Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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