when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
