Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
