somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
