Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
