You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
