I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
