you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
