Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
