Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
