My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
