just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
