You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
