I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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