I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
