oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
