fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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