Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
