i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
