I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
