i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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