I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
