if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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