I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
