She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
