Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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