I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
