Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
