I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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