Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
