hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
