i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
