Don't you send me to vm
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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