you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize