hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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