apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
