You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
that is very illegal...i love you.
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