the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
