I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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