she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
