No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
